Dear Francis,
Can you tell me… Do we owe something to our parents? My seeking very often ‘hurts’ them. When I say I am going to a hermitage or to see a teacher: they worry, especially my mother. It seems that the right thing for me hurts them. Often, I think about moving away, quite far. In truth (I have very much guilt about thinking this) I would very much like to be apart from them, and not hear from them, and get rid of many of my possessions. There is absolutely no way that I could tell them this straight without causing a great disturbance. What do you think the right thing to do is in a situation like this?
It’s strange… family relations are so complicated. To elaborate on my first question, ‘do we owe something to our parents’ can I ad: Why are families different, why is the relationship between father and son or mother and son different then that of a friend or even a lover. It’s like somehow we are BOUND together, it’s like there is no escaping this at all.
Thank you for all your previous answers,
Dear Friend, From our parents, we should take the love and ignore the rest, the desire to control us, the fear, etc, hoping they will do the same with us. We cannot turn them into truth lovers. We should understand their limitations. There comes an age when we don’t see them as parents any longer, but as friends. It is much easier to accept the shortcomings of our friends than those of our parents. They are often a tough but efficient yoga exercise designed to take us to true adulthood, wisdom. We then become the parents of our parents. Love, Francis
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