Dear Francis. In direct experience of Void ( if this can be called experience, since what was then called consciousness could not go there), great curiosity and great fear were also experienced. Seeking was the result for awhile. Now there is “this” unmoving space which cannot be doubted, yet there remains unnecessary “reaction” to all the constant movement of that which at core is unmoving, ha, and a second later there is the seeing of the reaction that was unnecessary. Everyday life is constant presence of unmoving space, plus unnecessary reaction, along with the yearning/calling toward what is unknown, while it is known there is no time-space that could even be called ‘toward’. There is fluctuation between no identity as this person any more, then the conditioned reactions just continue; the controller persists in fixing-efforts, purely by virtue of conditioning and one supposes also from remaining ignorance-fear. Presence, utter aliveness,and beauty are tangible. Surrender is surely reasonable; reasonableness is evaded somehow. Love is that there is such Presence at all when there could easily not be. The personality somehow persists in resisting with horror the grand impersonality of “this”. It might be helpful to see the impersonal via reasonableness. It is not so difficult to give over to what is reasonable, once that is felt-sensed.. Your expression of presence and directness with words/pointers of that which is reasonable, bring a deep “stop’ here, so it is felt this one might be able to listen if you could talk a bit about the vast impersonal as reasonable. Much love, Patricia …and much gratirude. Thank you for listening .Namaste
There are limits to what can be accomplished verbally over the Internet. There was recognition of the Void, but not dissolution in the Void, as evidenced by the great fear that was experienced. The dissolution of irrational feelings and beliefs cannot be entirely the result of reason. Find your teacher, the best one according to your heart and your intelligence, and use him or her as tool of surrender. Overcoming our resistance to having a guru is a first step to total surrender, which is the only requirement.