Francis Answers - 244 - On Love, relationships, and jealousy

Francis Lucille

Name: viola

Location: italia

Dear Francis, my question is: how to be in a committed loving- relationship while feeling the freedom which I know I deeply am. I mean a relationship based on unconditional love , who we truly are, yet living a “conditioned” love, meaning “IWe choose to be committed to unconditional love first of all,yet I choose you and not him, I am faithful to you and you choose me and are faithful to me…until the relationship feels good. In my experience the openess of unconditional love leaves space to jelousy to arise, because it is All Free… Love, Viola

Dear Viola,

There is no “one size fits all formula” for human relationships. But no matter what the formula is, celibacy with monogamous or polygamous relationships, marriage, spiritual community, gay or straight relationships, etc…that which really matters is the love. We are in love with the Self, both in us and in the so-called others, in our partners, spouses, lovers, friends, etc…It is only Love we are committed to, and it is Love that dictates our actions. The same impersonal love expressing itself through different body-mind experiences may dictate seemingly opposite behaviors under similar circumstances.

Jealousy comes from a sense of separation, always. It can never coexist with unconditional love. We should be in a relationship not because we are committed to it, but because we love it. In this case there is no sense of alienating our freedom, because we want to be in it. And Love, not weakness, is the only valid reason to stay in a relationship.