Another flight attendant's comment on a less than perfect landing: "We ask  you to please remain seated as Captain Kangaroo bounces us to the terminal." On my first flight ever, the captain came on over the intercom - "We aren't really a flight crew ... but we did stay at a Holiday Inn Express!" :P i wanna be a pilot then i can come over the intercom, "What's this button do...OH FUCKING SHIT!!" then after panic ensues, "Just kidding!" "The weather at our destination is 50 degrees with some broken clouds, but we'll try to have them fixed before we arrive." Then you can get fired! =D then i can get a job that's on the ground! And throw wrenches at planes' windows while they're taking off? i was thinking more along the lines of programming