Some dude tried to break in last night at like 2am, but I was on the comp and it's like right beside the window so I heard the faggot. Anyways, I grabbed the folding chair and as soon as he was like halfway through I beat the fucking shit out of him. So he's laying here unconscious and I call the cops. Once they get here, they search him and look at what he fucking had: 8 track tape (unlabeled), Flashlight (no batteries), Half eaten box of Fig Newtons, Measuring tape, Instructions to "Monopoly." Dude, you fucking killed McGuyver!